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Saturday, April 01, 2006

Digestion Has Never Been My Strong Suit


Rose colored glasses
Originally uploaded by kelsana.

I am obsessed with digestion. For as long as I can remember, the process of getting food from one end of my body to the other has never been an easy one of me. In kindergrten and first grade I had a string of childhood ailments, from assorted flus to whooping coughs. In high school I had inexplicable stomach pains that were so bad my mom would have to leave work to pick me up in the middle of the day. In college the pain would strike up around finals time.

Two years ago I had an abdominal ultrasound to make sure I didn't need my gall bladder taken out. I was restless, couldn't sleep and really just wanted to be able to eat a meal and not wonder how I would feel in an hour. My gastoenterologist, despite his best efforts, could find nothing physically wrong with me. Thus I took up runnng and yoga and dance and avoid possible irritants, such as the 6 train during rush hour.

For the past two weeks I've started a new period of lack of digestion. Friday's bout came via a bite of a bad piece of cheesecake offered at the yoga studio. After barfing for a few hours in the middle of the night, I had to decide if I was going to go to the emergency room or try to fight off the sickness in my little bunker. I could keep nothing down, and I wondered how badly dehydrated I was. If living in sorority house taught me nothing else, it was that when you can't keep food down, you need to seek medical attention. Basically a doc will stick you with a saline solutions to get fluids into you as well as give you another IV of some medicine that stops you from throwing up. If bad cases, such as one I had in January of 2003, they will also knock you out with a sedative, just so that you can get some rest.

At 7:00 AM on Friday I staggered over to the grocery store for some Gatorade and popsicles. I could barely stand up but I figured a little sugar could help my system. It did. I downed a whole jug of Gatorade and two popsicles and finally my insides didn't feel like they were going to come out. Then I had a very strange feeling: My stomach was fine but I couldn't sleep, despite being up all night. All that sugar from the popsicles was keeping me up. It sucked, but at least I wsn't throwing up anymore.

I spent the whole day watching TV. I hit the jackpot when I stumbled across a four-hour long Showtime special of Kevin Smith answering questions at assorted colleges. Being that I could barely sit up, it was wonderful entertainment. I actuallly have a new respect for him. He openly acknowledges he's making dick and fart movies. He doesn't claim to have a style to his films or even a point. He's just making movies. That's OK by me. And Jason Mewes is quite the fox.

OK, I'm outtie. Tme to enjoy some of this nice weather.